Incubation Overload

We all long for meaningful connections, yet we live in a time where the norm is maintaining countless superficial ties, most of them online. British anthropologist Robin Dunbar proposed a now-famous (and contested) idea: that our brain, specifically the neocortex, only has the emotional and cognitive bandwidth to maintain relationships with about 150 people.

Dunbar breaks it down like this:

• 5 intimate allies, family or best friends

• 15 close friends with strong, regular interaction

• 50 friends we see occasionally

• and up to 150 people we recognize, greet, and maybe send a holiday card to

Beyond that, we might still recognize faces or names, but something essential breaks down, depth. Our digital tools extend our reach far past Dunbar’s number, but they don’t extend our emotional RAM. The wiring of our primate brains hasn’t changed. What we gain in breadth, we often lose in meaning.

To manage larger groups, humans rely on tools like myth, ritual, hierarchy, and symbolism, the scaffolding of social cohesion. Armies use a chain of command. Religions use stories and sacraments. Nations use flags and constitutions. Corporations lean on mission statements and branding. Without depth, connection gives way to conflict, burnout, or tribal echo chambers. We confuse exposure with intimacy, attention with affection.

This piece, “Incubation Overload,” visualizes that tension. A vast field of fragile eggs stretches across the page, and only one lamp offers warmth. Each egg symbolizes a relationship, goal, or idea, each full of potential. But without the tools, time, or emotional heat required to nurture them, what will hatch? What will fade?

The further the field stretches, the more we must confront our limits and the beauty of focusing our light. Dunbar’s theory may be debated, but the core question remains deeply human: 

Where should I shine my light? 

What should I nurture, and what must I let go?

After all, our well-being is shaped not only by what we carry, but also by what we choose to set down.