You're Fooling Yourself
- jjonesy23
- Sep 24, 2023
- 5 min read
Let’s face it: as humans, our behaviors are often irrational, impulsive, and unpredictable. Like, why did I buy that Chumbawamba CD in 1997? It felt right at the time. Our actions don’t always align with the story we tell ourselves and others. We are Kerri Strug of mental gymnastics, sticking that landing and scoring a perfect 10! We are better storytellers than George R.R. Martin before the writer’s block. We will construct any narrative to match our actions while wrapping our minds in a snuggie of ignorance. It certainly feels good! But does it benefit our well-being? Will it aid who we become in 10 years? Or 20? By examining the cognitive processes, shortcomings of the psyche, and blind spots involved in our decision-making, we can make better health choices and accomplish our goals. With a bit of knowledge of the hidden aspects of our brains, we can make a fool of ourselves, achieve our goals, and stop unhelpful habits.
1.) Step one, a commitment device, is an essential starting point. Our weak wills and ability to rationalize unhealthy behavior are not conducive to healthy lifestyles. Look at the quarter of that cookie you weren’t supposed to eat. Then half, then the entire cookie is gone! A Ulysses pact or contract is a decision that binds or locks us into a future action (Wignall, 2019). In Homer’s Odyssey, Ulysses knew the Siren’s song would render him incapacitated and irrational until the point of his death. Ulysses wants to experience the beauty of the Sirens while avoiding their enchantments. Circe gives him the solution to plug his ears with wax and bind him to the ship's mast, like Bill Murray in “What about Bob.” Ulysses developed external constraints to avoid a calamity in the future while still being able to witness the beauty of the Sirens. Our reward system craves pleasure, and we will almost always succumb to its seduction. An example of a Ulysses pact is to only grocery shop after eating to decrease the likelihood of buying junk food. Avoid having junk food in your house altogether if you’re trying to eat well. Write your workout partner a check for 100 dollars and tell them they can cash it if you miss a workout! Think of a Ulysses pact and lever behavior change for your goals and situation.
2.) Cognitive Dissonance is the state of discomfort felt when there is a clashing of ideas, beliefs, or the knowledge that we have behaved in a certain way. People will adjust their thinking when their thoughts, words, or behaviors clash (Kretcher, 2021). Walter White from Breaking Bad has convinced himself that the violent acts he committed and the money he gets from manufacturing drugs are justified because he does them for good reasons. The deeper he goes into the world of crime, the more rationalities he invents. Our mental gymnastics find ways to decrease the gap between our actions and genuine thoughts and feelings. Let’s say you decide to stay in a relationship you dislike or end a relationship; you will develop a story. Chances are this story is very self-enhancing, like our social media pictures. Therefore, truly reflect and analyze your health choices and conflicting beliefs. Look at a list of values and circle five that resonate most with you. Then, objectively examine your actions and determine if you’re living out your values. I have told myself and others I only eat natural whole foods with one ingredient to find myself buying Zebra cakes from the gas station during times of stress, fatigue, impulsivity, or hunger.
3.) If we’re honest with ourselves, we are all hypocrites at some point. American Psychologist Elliot Aronson studied a concept stemming from Cognitive Dissonance called the hypocrisy paradigm. The premise is to motivate people to close the gap between behavior and their attitudes and beliefs to which they claim to subscribe. Aronson did a research study on the very environmentally focused students at UC Santa Cruz. Despite their claims to be invested in conserving the environment, when asked to take shorter showers due to the perennial water shortage, they succumbed to the pleasure and comfort of longer showers. Aronson utilized the hypocrisy paradigm by creating a sign on campus that said, “Take shorter showers to conserve water! If I can do it, so can you!” Then he had the student’s names in big block letters on the sign for all the campus to see. The study showed those who advocated by having their names displayed started taking shorter showers. Now, ask yourself how you can utilize this concept in your life. Maybe you can join the staff wellness committee, lead a walking club, lead a book club, start a wellness blog, or organize an accountability group. Taking the lead will make you more likely to follow through on your commitment to avoid being seen as what we all are: hypocrites.
4.) There is a phrase, “Change is the only true constant.” However, people don’t do well with change, especially in Western culture. It’s easy to view things as linear. Researcher and Author Adam Alter performed a study giving individuals weather charts or stock options and asked how they predicted it would perform. If the weather was sunny or stock was performing well, they indicated that the trend would continue. The East tends to expect more change, balance, and variation. This inability to view change as a constant can blindside a person. Bilbo was not ready for change when Gandalf selected him as the 14th team member, but he went on a life-changing quest of self-discovery! Furthermore, accepting and expecting change applies to failure, too. Succeeding can mean developing a sustained tolerance for failure! Alter states, “It sounds paradoxical, but winners are not people who never lose; they’re people that tolerate losing long enough for things to break their way.” Reframe your idea of success when achieving your health goals. Success is not binary or instant but a process or a journey. Drop your handkerchief like Bilbo and embrace the quest.
5.) The last tip is to align your definition of success to something inside your control rather than relying on external factors you cannot control. Instead of viewing success as having 8 percent body fat, view success as getting 45 minutes of exercise per day. Humans develop innumerable mental traps, creating the challenge inside our minds. How many athletes with all the talent in the world did not live up to the hype because they couldn’t get out of their own way? Philosopher Atticus states, “Sometimes, the worst place you can be is in your own head. You can dwell in your thoughts, or you can stop the loop by taking action. Do something, do anything. A small act puts a pause on your mental spiral. We drink the poison our minds pour for us and wonder why we feel sick.” Author Albert Camus states, “In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me, there lay an invincible summer.” Within all of us lay an invincible summer that no external factor can destroy. People let their inner world become highly influenced by the outside world. Marcus Aurelius states, “You have power over your mind, not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”The brain contains mysteries that science is still excavating. More effective mental health strategies and medications are being developed through scientific discoveries of the mind. Within our hidden brains lay answers to why we make our decisions. When all external pursuits have failed, why not go to the source? Our mind.
Additional Resources
References
Dickerson et al.(1994). Using Cognitive Dissonance to Encourage Water Conservation, Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin.
Kretchmar, J. (2021). Cognitive Dissonance Theory. Salem Press
Encyclopedia.
Wignall, Nick. “The Ulysses Pact: An Ancient Technique for Building Better Habits.” Nick
Wignall, 13 Jan. 2019, nickwignall.com/ulysses-pact/. Accessed 24 Sept. 2023.
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